In what way your mother is your mother?

Earlier and even now, it is ridiculous to ask an individual a question “in what way his mother is his mother?” With the expansion of science and technology, in the near future which is perhaps going to be an era of surrogate mothers, the question will be a little easier to ask। There are three answers of this question - Genetic mother, Gestational mother and Social mother. The first is the woman who provides the egg, the second is the one who carries the fetus in her body and the woman who contributes to the raising and care is the last. Usually when we refer to a woman as someone’s mother, we intend her to be identified as fulfilling the genetic and gestational as well as the social role of “mother”. With the advance of reproductive technology, it is possible that each of these three roles can be performed by three different women.

The dictionary meaning of the term “surrogate” is a substitute। Surrogate mother is a woman who bears a child for a couple who are childless because the wife is infertile or physically incapable of carrying a developing fetus। Often the surrogate mother is the biological mother of the child conceiving it by means of artificial insemination with sperm from the husband। In gestational surrogacy, the wife is fertile but incapable of carrying a growing fetus, the child is conceived by in vitro fertilization using the wife’s eggs and her husband’s sperm, and the resulting embryo is implanted in the surrogate mother’s uterus.

There are two forms of surrogacy। One, when a surrogate has a child for a couple where the husband is the genetic father and the surrogate is the genetic mother. Two, also called Host mothering, is where the surrogate carries the genetic child of both the husband and wife through IVF/gift technique which requires a doctor’s intervention. The most common form is a straight surrogacy, where the surrogate bears a child for a childless couple. In this case, the husband’s sperm is artificially inseminated into the surrogate.

The couple can draw up an agreement privately with the surrogate and arrange to pay for her expenses and that of the child’s while it is in her womb। This is a legal precedent which has been allowed in many countries; however, the agreements are not binding and either one can back out of it anytime। It is basically “work on trust”। In order to minimize the misuse of surrogacy, certain guidelines have been laid down. A contract needs to be drawn up, which should specify that the child becomes the legitimately adopted child of the intended couple. The couple, the surrogate and her husband should sign this document. The road to surrogacy is tough and long. Things are bound to go wrong, as one can not foresee the possibility of the surrogate keeping the child; the child is stillborn or dying at birth. However, it is an option some childless couples are willing to consider despite some odds.

The phenomenon has at least the power to eradicate the grievances of many Hindus in particular and Indians in general, who are obsessed with “having a child of their own”। Besides social factor like ‘someone to take care of me in my old age’, it directs our attention to a profound religious demand for a child, especially a male one. The technology brought a relief for them who believe that all men come into this world burdened by debt – pitr rin (indebted to the forefathers) and the only way to repay this is to father a male offspring. Even during funerary rites, known as shraaddha, Hindu males are reminded of this debt, whereas in the Dharmashastras, it is said that those who failed to repay this end up in the hell where they suffer for all eternity.

Despite controversial and ethical issues arising out of it, surrogacy has been gaining popularity all over the world especially in the west where adoption is not easy to come by. Research has one-in-six couples have problems with infertility. Some use medical treatments to overcome this situation, for some however, no help is available. For them, surrogacy is an option to get eternal satisfaction of having a biological child of their own.

Temple sculptures are no more the mediums of Sex Education

Human beings unlike any other creature in this universe do have sexual encounter in a private place. As human beings are considered to be social animals, sexual encounter in privacy is considered to be a part of social behaviour too. But the problem that arises because of this so-called social action is that the descendents’ exploration process on the subject of sex becomes very slow. That doesn’t mean human beings have to start enjoying sex in open in order to educate their following generations. This is one of the reasons why, in the ancient age, people have crafted the sculptures of sexual images on the temples.

Temple is the most common place one visits. And thus, one could easily observe the images on the temple walls and understand the different poses and also the essentiality of sex in life. This could happen in a process without involving them asking anyone about this most controversial topic or without anyone explaining them making any one or both of them feel embarrassed.

The temple sculptures mostly famous for sexual images in India are Khajuraho and Konark. Both of the temples have been crafted with wonderful piece of art making the visitors spellbound with its everlasting liveliness. Since ages, these two places have been the most favourite destinations for couples on honeymoon.

All this is a year old story. Who is interested, nowadays, in the sculptures on a temple wall? With the advancement of science and technology, one can easily access porn videos or that on the internet or on a mobile phone and have a thorough knowledge of how human beings practice sex.

Then, are the temple sculptures no more the medium of sex education nowadays? Definitely, not. It doesn’t mean the porn videos or porn sites are the adequate mediums.

With the advent of so many sexual conditions like Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, sexually transmitted diseases, and so on, merely the whole process of lovemaking can’t be considered as sexual education. It doesn’t mean people in older years weren’t suffering from the above conditions. But as a result of inexpressiveness, these issues weren’t discovered by anyone other than the people who were suffering. The more the society felt the need of communication, the more research took place and so these issues were discovered.

Above all, the pick-point is that sex education is not about discovering one’s sexual organs or various sexual poses, but it is to get aware of different sexual conditions including the earlier. It means the sculptures on the temple walls should no more be considered as the medium of sex education. That is art, simply a piece of art, and that’s all!

Putting an end to compulsory marriage

In India, marriage has always been defined as one of the most divine relationships. A man and a woman (let's talk about inter-sex marriages only) tie the knot promising each other that they are going to dedicate the rest of their lives to each other. In the process, they adjust with the nature, mood, character, attitude and intelligence of each other investing every effort to hundred percent in order to save their bondage. This is the simple theory of this so-called tie-up. Sounds very sweet! It would have sounded sweeter, if the same characteristics had been visible in each and every marriage.

India is a country where from the very childhood, everyone is fed with the notions that once grown up, he or she is going to get married. Therefore one grows up with the dreams of his or her marriage. But even then, marriage is marked by many negative thoughts by a group (though very small) of people.
This part of population might either have got fed up of the bad marriage of their parents or seen only failed or bad marriages around them, or else for any other particular reason. But one thing is clear that they don't want to get diverted by sacrificing their lives to an unpromising marriage. There are even people who prefer some other responsibility or social work over getting married.

All these people who are reluctant to get married are forced to do the same and to live a life they never wanted. By ‘force', I don't mean ‘physically'. There are many social factors that make them available for an unwilling marriage. These factors may be described as:

• The persuasion of parents who want their dynasty to continue existing.
• The narrow narrow-minded society that considers a man Impotent or Effeminate
• The conservative society that considers a woman as cursed, if not married.
• The wrong notion of the parents who think it's a divine achievement to give away the daughter in marriage.
• People who want to get their children married, so that they can make arrangements for the same with grandeur and show off their status.

This is high time these factors created soon-to-be broken relationships spoiling many lives. Now, the time has come to set people free to live in the way they want. Just think, if we are not sure whether the marriage of two people who have been in love for years (as we have already seen many cases earlier) is going to work or not, how can a marriage having any one or both reluctant partners work? In simple words, this is a risk that is taken by putting two lives at stake. Is it compulsory to be taken, I mean, to get married?

India is not a synonym of Indian cricket team

Cricket is, no doubt, the most popular game in India. Every time there is an international cricket match, we find a long queue of aspirant audience outside the stadium. People are so much crazy about this game that they even climb up trees to have a glimpse of the on-going match. Eden Garden stadium in Kolkata which has a 1 lakh 30 thousand audience capacity always goes packed for a cricket match, at the same time having only 30 thousand audience capacity, Barvati stadium in Cuttack is thronged by many times bigger audience resulting in a chaos.

The madness of cricket fans crosses its limits sometimes. For instance, some people even die of heart attack when the Indian cricket team loses a neck and neck fight. We have also come across news that some people set the effigies of cricket players who were considered to be responsible for the defeat. At the same time, each and every player who has made a remarkable contribution in winning a match is showered with a lot of love and respect by the entire country.

This much of huge enthusiasm in the people puts a lot of pressure on the players. And naturally, it affects their performance. That’s why it is observed that the team comes out as a loser in the most hyped final matches. For these kinds of defeats, the audience and also the people are equally responsible as the player. Everyone should realize that not everyone can overcome the pressure of satisfying more than one billion fans.

When our team wins a match, there are discussions on every television channel. The same thing happens when the team loses a match much of the airtime is occupied by cricket and cricketers. Unfortunately all the other kinds of sports are getting deprived of the kind of attention they deserve.

When someone asks you whether India won today, don’t ask him the question “in what?” You will just make a fool out of yourself by asking this. Surprising! There are so many sports in which the representatives of this country participate, it may be one of them, and it may also be any kind of bid in which the nation is involved or can also be understood as India’s permanent seat in the security council of the UN. But no, people won’t take a mini second to take Indian Cricket team as ‘India’. For their kind information, India is not a synonym of Indian cricket team. This country has many more issues other than simply talking about a ball and a ball.

Employees have to get auctioned

We are living in a difficult time. Many people have the same opinion. But it can be said that not everything is going against the interests of the present time. There are terrorism, regionalism, religious issues, and many national and international crises taking place. At the same time, every country is coming forward with an economic boom; and what matters to people more is that most of them are getting rid of poverty.

A secured job is the priority of every middle class individual. And why shouldn't it be? As a matter of fact, a secured job secures many things in one's life. Once upon a time, one might be facing difficulties in finding a perfect job for him or her, and then maintaining it was also a serious thing to be concerned. One was not sure whether he or she would get another job or not, if the existing one slips out of the hands. Fortunately, the same thing is not an issue nowadays.

In many fields, there are numerous jobs. The job world is so vast that both the freshers and experienced people don't have to worry about getting and maintaining the same. There are even lots of sites like naukri.com, timesjobs.com, monster.com that provide one with the information of hyped openings. All that one need to do is to market him or her in a proper way. Yes, the word is ‘MARKET'.

At this juncture, every individual is like a human product. And one has just to sell himself. It is different from the times of slavery in the context that here the seller is the ‘job aspirant' himself and the buyer is a company. The companies auction for their favorite and required employee; and the first bid is from the employee himself. As always, the highest bidder is going to be the winner.

The process of present time is that a job aspirant goes to a company to know how much he means for the same. But it is not beyond everyone's imagination that just after a few years, we are going to see the companies on a common platform. The aspirants will be called and auctioned by all the representatives of the companies. And they are going to select the highest bidder as their employer.

Present time is called as the age of advertising. Publicity and advertising is posing the capacity of making a worthless product valuable. Right kind of promotion makes a general product seem important. As we have also referred individuals as the products in the job world, they also have to indulge themselves in promotion. They have to apply all the advertisement rules on themselves to enhance their value. And, how to do it? Well, each and every individual is different from each other. One definitely has something that others don't have. They just have to highlight the unique characteristics they pose not giving much stress on the general tendency. Hiding the weaknesses or not giving spotlight to them is also a good idea. So how much do you cost?

Regionalism on Television

India, being the seventh largest country in the world is spread across a vast region. From the foot of the Himalayas to Kanyakumari, this country poses numerous types of human races. Divided into 28 states and 7 central provinces, this greatest democracy of the world has a population more than 1150 millions. Having a very imbalanced nature of population, the nation stands out with different densities at different regions. Metropolitan cities like Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata, Chennai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, etc. have become the economic hubs alluring numerous people. Along with economic growth, the country demands open notion in human ideas beyond regionalism. Unfortunately that demand hasn't been fulfilled completely even after 61 years of achieving freedom.

Even in this age of globalization, we can find myriad of people knowing nothing outside their villages. Brides covering even their faces with veils are unaware of the happenings of their own surroundings. 60% of total population are illiterate, therefore aren't able to read and write. Newspapers are futile for them.

At this juncture, television plays a great role as mass media in educating people. Hence demand of responsibility from television is a lot. It's their duty to create nationalism in the Indian citizens. Unfortunately, on the contrary, some of the programs encourage regionalism. Terms like north India, south India, east and west India, and even north east India uttered in the programs create a sense of division in the citizens.

There is no place like Koshal, Telengana, and Vidarbha existing in this country. But they are referred to be the separate parts of states Orissa, Andhra Pradesh and Maharashtra respectively. Who can explain them? Only with the utterance of these words, it can be argued, one supports the separation of these places. It's better to name them only after they have been formed into separate states.

I can cite one example from the popular show 'Saregamapa-little champs'. In this so-called show, the anchor always refers words like "Someone belongs to North India. So he has got maximum votes from that part. Someone belongs to South India, but he has got maximum votes from north east India." I am not against the utterance of words like this. But I think they should be used for convenience in communication. We have the greatest convenience to refer places and it's by the name of the states which are mainly formed with reference to the language spoken in the respective regions. I don't think any more division is needed in this country.

I have cited a very small and general example. What I intend to say is that people should do away with any small or big attempt towards breaking our nation whether consciously or unconsciously. This is high time we fought for division. Let's have total concentration and fight for development, against illiteracy and ignorance. Only development! This is my point. I think I have made it. What do you think? Please let me know.

My interaction with Mumbai Local Train

It was December 2, 2006. I had to travel from Mankhurd to Kurla in a local train just two days after touching Mumbai. I was totally excited about the fact of traveling by the life-line of Mumbai. Local was always like Mumbai for me. I had never imagined Mumbai without local trains. And it was, say, my first interaction with Mumbai.

A train arrived just one minute after the scheduled time. I was trying to gather all my guts and energy to get into it. Everyone behind and in front of me ran to find their spaces. Just after 10 seconds, I realized that I was in the train. Then followed a breathless journey of 15 minutes. While getting down, believe me, I had never experienced so much humiliation at a single time. Someone pushed me, someone kicked me. The same thing happened with others too. But unlike me, all of them were shouting and laughing. I was very eager to know the reason of their irrational reaction.

For next several months, I became a regular commuter. I got habituated to the crowd including pushes and kicks. One day, all of a sudden, I realized the train was not that crowded. It generated a sense of ecstasy in me. For the first time after joining, I reached at my office with my shirt properly tuck in. Only that fellow who has ever experienced the same thing can imagine the extent of my happiness.

But end of the day, I didn't feel good at all. It was like living a simple and struggle-free life. It's strange but my entire body was aching as it hadn't got the daily massage. Then, the following days went as always. And after a period, I stopped traveling by train as I shifted to a flat close to my office.

It was December 2, 2007. I had to travel from Dadar to Andheri. I was very confident. The year long experience in traveling by train was a support to my confidence. The same thing as earlier happened. There was no need to get into the train. People were so supportive that they didn't give me a single chance to decide whether I should travel by this over-crowded train or wait for the next one. It took 10 seconds and their work was over. But getting down was not that easy this time. At Andheri station, people, of course, pushed me out of the train. And as always, I didn't apply my self-earned energy at all. But the fact that worried me was that I was pushed back by the people who were yet to travel by the same train from that station.

I was on the fence, standing at no space, and getting suffocated. For a short period of time, I realized whether I existed or not. The next stop was Borivili. Someone told me that I had to jump out of the moving train; otherwise the same thing would happen again. The most interesting fact about me, at that time, was that I had a broken leg. An old man, more than 60 years of age, provided me with courage. Could I make it? Yes, only after making a narrow escape from getting my second leg fractured. Well, all that ends well is well.

I reached home safely. But one thing that forced me to scratch my head is that it's a long one year, but no difference was there for the commuters of the so called life-line of Mumbai. And, experience! What's that?