Existence of Dowry system in disguise!

The dictionary meaning of the term ‘Dowry’ suggests that it is the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage. However, the practice, in real sense, has been deteriorating even more. In school, all of us had been asked to write essays on dowry system in India. We used to write on how a bridegroom’s family exploits that of the bride. Each and every demand has to be fulfilled. Maybe, one or two examples could be included.

The best point is that finding instances never used to be difficult for us as we could find some of the cases happening within our own families. Whatever the case it might be, as we developed the essay, we started hating the practice. While submitting the write-up, we had also promised to ourselves that we would never become a part of this cruel tradition. Day by day, when we grew up, the existence of that hatred faded off. And one day came when it disappeared. And we started attending marriages in which our friends accepted dowry or offered the same. We considered it as a norm of the society.

Now when it came to us to take a decision whether to accept dowry or not, it was a big issue. We thought - “What would our friends think of us? They would say that we were also a part of the dirt.” Hence, we had to come up with an excuse. What we had to do was that we would not demand anything, but accept whatever was offered. Consequently, we did not do anything great. The fact that we did not demand proved to be more beneficial for us and made the bride’s family think that we were nobler and in turn, offered even more.

However, not everything fell on right places for people like us. There were occasions when the bride’s family offered a dowry which was below our expectations, as they thought we had self-respect and did not want it. Then, there was a problem with the entire relationship. The series of taunts began to create a hollow in the bond. Ultimately, we ended up with a bad marriage.

The point here is that the existence of dowry system in disguise is more dangerous than that in open. At least some people have the guts to express that they are shameless and that they have greed and can’t do away with it.

Putting an end to compulsory marriage

In India, marriage has always been defined as one of the most divine relationships. A man and a woman (let's talk about inter-sex marriages only) tie the knot promising each other that they are going to dedicate the rest of their lives to each other. In the process, they adjust with the nature, mood, character, attitude and intelligence of each other investing every effort to hundred percent in order to save their bondage. This is the simple theory of this so-called tie-up. Sounds very sweet! It would have sounded sweeter, if the same characteristics had been visible in each and every marriage.

India is a country where from the very childhood, everyone is fed with the notions that once grown up, he or she is going to get married. Therefore one grows up with the dreams of his or her marriage. But even then, marriage is marked by many negative thoughts by a group (though very small) of people.
This part of population might either have got fed up of the bad marriage of their parents or seen only failed or bad marriages around them, or else for any other particular reason. But one thing is clear that they don't want to get diverted by sacrificing their lives to an unpromising marriage. There are even people who prefer some other responsibility or social work over getting married.

All these people who are reluctant to get married are forced to do the same and to live a life they never wanted. By ‘force', I don't mean ‘physically'. There are many social factors that make them available for an unwilling marriage. These factors may be described as:

• The persuasion of parents who want their dynasty to continue existing.
• The narrow narrow-minded society that considers a man Impotent or Effeminate
• The conservative society that considers a woman as cursed, if not married.
• The wrong notion of the parents who think it's a divine achievement to give away the daughter in marriage.
• People who want to get their children married, so that they can make arrangements for the same with grandeur and show off their status.

This is high time these factors created soon-to-be broken relationships spoiling many lives. Now, the time has come to set people free to live in the way they want. Just think, if we are not sure whether the marriage of two people who have been in love for years (as we have already seen many cases earlier) is going to work or not, how can a marriage having any one or both reluctant partners work? In simple words, this is a risk that is taken by putting two lives at stake. Is it compulsory to be taken, I mean, to get married?