Sunday, August 22, 2010
Marriage should happen when you want it to
I was shocked when I learnt from Alka that a girl from one of her neighbours was allegedly kidnapped and killed a child. The reason of the killing was cited to be the marriage of the accused. Yes, the girl who was only 26 years old was going through depression because of not getting married. Some witch advised that if she kills a child, she will overcome the bad-luck factor and then, marriage will happen soon.
Well, this is not a rare case as far as India is concerned. We come across many such crime stories that involve witchcraft and other superstitions related to marriage.
The questions that arise here are that “should a girl at the age of 26 be considered old enough to get married?” and “who will decide the right age for someone’s marriage?” I believe, virtually everyone who made the girl believe that she is old enough to get married is partly responsible for the crime.
The water goes over the nose when your own family members curse you because your marriage is not happening and hold your “bad-luck” responsible for this. Their concern is obviously contributed by the opinions of the people they are surrounded with, which carries them away; but that can never be presented as an excuse. Life should be how you choose to live and not following the footsteps of billions.
After crossing the legal age of marriage (18 for women and 21 for men), one can get married any time and there shouldn’t be any virtual social bar against it. After all, for marriage one doesn’t need to attain a certain age but he or she has to meet so many other requirements such as being financially stable, finding a perfect partner, mental preparation, getting ready to have a family, and many more.
This case was a pure consequence of the concept of compulsory marriage – the girl was convinced that she has no other choice but to get married one day and that too before attaining a certain age. Anyway, no logic of this sort can justify such a crime, and especially in this case when the accused is old enough to take decisions for herself.