How Long will It Take Us to Abolish the Dowry System?

When I was in fourth standard, once a teacher asked all the students to write an essay on the dowry system. I didn’t know how to write. Hence, I just documented all the criminal incidents related to the dowry system, which I had come across in my locality. To my surprise, the teacher was very impressed with my essay. That was perhaps the first appreciation I received for my writing. But that was also the first time when I expressed my anger on the criminality of this so-called social norm. I was assured by the teacher that this norm wouldn't be existing in the society ten years down the line. That year was 1989. Twenty-four years have passed since then. And recently, when I browsed through the Internet, the news items that caught my eyes were as follows:

• Female magistrate files dowry case against her husband
• Hours after going to cops, dowry victim ends life
• Woman burnt to death over dowry
• Former Orissa minister arrested in dowry torture

Today is the time when our fight against female feticide has gone stronger. We take pride in taking action against people who get involved in gender identification in the womb. However, the root cause of female feticide doesn't solely lie in gender identification in the womb. It is in the brain. It is also formed in the brain when one comes across facts about atrocities against women like sexual exploitation, torture for dowry, so on and so forth, which showcase how difficult it is to become a woman in our society. Therefore, while we are fighting to make every girl child in the womb see the world, we will need to make the world secure for them at every stage of their lives. Demand of dowry in marriage is one such insecurity.

We have ambassadors for polio eradication, breast cancer care, going green, etc. We need ambassadors for abolishment of the dowry system as well. We need long-term campaigns till this social injustice (norm) is uprooted and erased from our brains forever and for never to come back.

People who accepted or planning to accept dowry in marriage tend to give one or other excuse for accepting dowry. All that is crap. The way you cannot justify any injustice, you cannot justify accepting dowry as well.

From my experience, I can give you some popular excuses. Feel free to add to the list below:

• I didn’t want dowry. My parents wanted it. (Answer: You are getting married, not your parents. You can definitely stop them from having such illegal demand.)
• We never demanded. But they just forced us to accept. (Answer: You are not a child. Nobody wants to give you anything free of cost. You must have showed the greed in your eyes. There are many shameless people who don't demand dowry these days, but expects it to be given as a right.)
• I had given dowry to my sister. Hence, I demanded too. (Answer: Then, you take back from your sister. Why do you take it from someone else's sister.)
• I spent so much money in my marriage for my in-laws’ pride. Hence, I had to accept dowry. (Answer: Who asked you to spend it. Don't give such crap. You spent it for showing off. And you want your parents-in-law to pay for it.)
• That’s why I preferred an arrange marriage. Otherwise, I would have gone for a love marriage. (Answer: Greed is not restricted to arrange marriage or love marriage. No girl would have loved you when you had so much greed.)
• My wife will not demand her share from her parents' property. Dowry is a form of that share. (Answer: Rather you don't take it as dowry and ask your wife to legally demand for her share of property.)
• I wanted to start a business. This was like the capital amount. It is for their daughter only. (Answer: Wait. Your son-in-law will ask you for the same. Save for the capital amount of your future son-in-law's business.)
• This is a tradition. We need to follow it. (I am sure you wouldn't have followed the tradition if it was inconvenient to you. You need not follow the age-old traditions that has no relevence in today's time.)
  

Confused State

As usual the morning and the evening are

As usual the day and the night are

Something is missing today, but

Something is perplexing today, but

I am searching for something..

Or, I am searching for someone.

I must find something today..

Or someone must find me today!

I am there where I should be..

Or, I was there where I should be.

I am forgetting myself today!

I am discovering myself today!

I am feeling restless..

Or, I am just motionless.

The emptiness is biting me today.

My patience is giving in today.

As usual the morning and the evening are

As usual the day and the night are

Something is missing today, but

Something is perplexing today, but

10 Reasons Why Arvind Kejriwal Should Be Successful in Politics

Arvind Kejriwal, National Convenor of AAP

It's been more than four months since Arvind Kejriwal launched the Aam Admi Party (AAP) and more than six months since he announced of it. Lot of speculations have been published and telecast in the media about his political future. While we cannot just ignore the comments from the experts and the current situation in politics where a lot of money is required to contest elections, we cannot even deny the call of our hearts. Here is why my heart says why this anti-corruption crusader should be successful as a political leader:

1. Arvind Kejriwal has been fighting against corruption and trying to introduce a system that will be able abolish corruption. He is advocating of creation of a system that will cleanse the political environment once and forever.
2. Arvind Kejriwal advocates of making our leaders more accountable. He has also inspired people to ask questions to their leaders. Accountability will definitely keep the leaders from wrong-doings.
3. Arvind Kejriwal has brought back the sense of patriotism in Indians. He wants Indians to demonstrate a fighting spirit and not to surrender to the wrong-doings or evil-intentions of the political leaders.
4. Arvind Kejriwal thinks that Indians are first class people with third class governance. He blames the governance of the country for its pitiable condition and not the people.
5. Arvind Kejriwal demands decentralization of the decision making process. He wants people to decide what they want and the government to deliver accordingly rather than the latter assuming of what people want.
6. In his search of freedom from corruption, Arvind Kejriwal never gave in to the odds he faced. He continued his fight even when his ideal Anna Hazare and his other comrades including Kiran Bedi parted ways with him. This shows his strength and his strong-belief and determination about what he is doing. He has practiced what Ravindranath Tagore said: Jodi Tor Dak Shune Keu Na Ase Tobe Ekla Cholo Re (If no one responds to your call, then go your own way alone).
7. Arvind Kejriwal believes in the principle “Be the change you want to see in the world”. He is honest himself, he has chosen honest people in his party, and he is challenging the other political parties to dare follow the same ideology.
8. Arvind Kejriwal is against people who come to politics for the facilities such as car, bungalow, and other privileges that the politicians get. He urges the aspirants to come to politics for serving the society and to sacrifice these privileges.
9. Arvind Kejriwal is an ordinary man. He doesn’t have any political background. If he becomes successful, he can inspire many ordinary but honest people to come and join politics, who otherwise thought it’s a dirty field. Therefore, politics is not going to be a playground of the goons, corrupt, rich, or the descendants of other politicians only.
10. Above all, Arvind Kejriwal is fearless and has penetrated fearlessness in millions of people. His success will be a celebration of being fearless and standing against all odds in life.

Who is Guilty? The Woman, the Driver, or the Boy?

A beautiful woman – in her 20s, adorned with adequate jewelry perfectly matching her gracious sari – was talking to her friends in a local train. She seemed to be highly educated. While picking the last piece of the potato chips from the packet she was holding in her left hand, she mentioned that her house was getting renovated for Diwali (the festival of lights) celebrations. At the last word of her statement, she threw the wrapper out of the train through the window.

An auto-rickshaw driver asked my co-passenger to not to leave the biscuit wrappers inside the rickshaw. The passenger put the wrapper in his bag with an intention to throw it into a dustbin when he gets down. The driver then asked me whether I wanted to get down at the next stop and then he spit the betel nut, which he was chewing for a long time, to his right on the road.

On the bus stop, an educated boy asked me when the bus was supposed to arrive. He had his face neatly shaved and had also applied some perfume. I told him that even I was waiting for the bus for last half an hour. In disappointment, he casually kicked one empty soft drink can that had fallen out of the nearby dustbin. The can ended up finding itself on the middle of the otherwise spotless road.

Many-a-times, it seems we live in a time of selfishness when we care very much about our own impression but not that of the society, when anything told to us about the world outside that of ourselves merely seems cacophony to us. That might be the reason why the woman didn’t want the entire city but only her house to be clean for the festival, the auto-rickshaw driver didn’t want the roads to be as clean as his own vehicle, and the handsome, presentable boy didn’t want the road to look as good and presentable as he looked.

Cursing these three people while walking home, I started to search for a chocolate in my pocket. Luckily, I found one, which I unwrapped and put in my mouth. My eyes were wandering to find a dustbin where I can put the wrapper. I didn’t find any in the vicinity. Hence, I started walking while holding the wrapper in my hand with an intention to throw it wherever I find a dustbin. I had already walked for 200 meters and hadn’t found a single dustbin on the road though the road was full of garbage lying here and there. Suddenly, my hand hit my body and the wrapper I was holding fell down on the road. Did I consider picking it up again? No. How does it matter? One more wrapper on the ugly road wouldn’t make a difference to its appearance, I thought. And then, I moved on.

As I reached home, I realized that those three individuals were not at fault completely. They were merely reacting naturally to the conditions they were put into. The woman didn’t find a single dustbin in the train, the auto-rickshaw driver found the road worth spitting, and the boy thought the road would be a better place for the can than where he was standing. Everything in its present shape or condition is prepared to face its own destiny. Even a street dog looks for a pole to address the nature’s call. People who spit on the dirty roads don’t behave in the same way with the posh malls they visit. Therefore, it is time to desperately demand for infrastructure that deserve better behavior from the society; at the same time let’s encourage the society to respect whatever the little we have and not to make it uglier. And as they say, we need to be the change we want to see in the world. 

Anna / Arvind: A Split That Hardly Bothers

They have worked together for years and have been a great force behind the introduction of the Right to Information act. They have fought together for months lobbying for a strong bill against corruption. Yet there are many aspects which indicate that the split between Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal was for the good. They have been quite effective individually as they decided to take different paths for achieving their common goal – abolishing corruption.

Both Kejriwal and Hazare are go-getters and have shown a never-die attitude in their field of work so far. However, they exhibit a difference in approach. Anna seems to target the hearts of people and Arvind goes with the brain. While the former comes with inspirational speeches, talks about ideology and tries to touch the emotional chords of people, the latter moves every step forward with strategy, adequate data, defending logic and high-level research.

The positive gesture that Anna and Arvind have given for each other even after splitting shows that both believe in each others’ potential. Where Anna says that he will go and campaign for Arvind if the latter contests an election because the latter’s wrong-doings are not evident, Arvind says that he is missing Anna as a moral support. Joining hands with former Army Chief B K Singh, Anna is on his way to form a new Team Anna. With many members from India against Corruption, Arvind is almost ready to register and announce the name of his political party in November 2012.

The development after the split between Anna and Arvind has answered the question what the need of the split was when both have a common goal. The exposés demonstrated against Robert Vadra, Salman Khurshid and Nitin Gadkari were call of the time and the way the movement against the Delhi power tariff was conducted was phenomenon. When was the last time we had seen a social activist on TV throughout the day? Arvind Kejriwal could make the issue of corruption a conversation toping in the drawing rooms.

Therefore, the split was for choosing the best path suitable for an individual. The split was for standing by what one believes. The split, the biggest question raised against the intention of the fighters against corruption, itself proved how much integrity both of these personalities have. They are not only concerned about achieving their goal but also being particular about the way through which it should be achieved.

Blog! Opine! Share!

It has been almost five years since I started blogging. In the beginning, Blogging, for me, was “giving my opinion”. Initially, I limited myself to reading others’ blogs and giving my comments. Gradually I started to use this platform as a medium of sharing my experiences. As I am writing this 50^th article on this blog, let me tell you that the experience is amazing.

To read others’ experiences in life is fun. It’s fun to read the stories written by people who have experienced it themselves. There is no editor involved in the process to correct the language, to improve the flow and to kill the essence. What is written is simply words that come out straight from someone’s heart.

Through these years, I advised many of my friends to start blogging. Some of them started and were exhilarated by the feeling of seeing their own article published on the Internet within a few minutes. What made them happier is that their blog has a global audience. It’s not restricted within the boundaries of any region or country.

One of my friends once asked me why we need to blog. Why will anyone be interested in knowing what we are doing in life? I took the opportunity to explain her that blogging is not only about describing what you are doing in life. It can also be used to give your opinion on different issues and advise people on something you already have experienced. For those who think why anyone will be interested in reading what you are doing in life, I can tell this from experience that every article has an audience. You get 500 people saying what crap you have written and then you get that one reader who appreciates your article and says he/she has the same opinion or experience. You feel like your purpose of blogging is served.

The best thing about blogging, I think, is that it is beyond the time boundaries – ever present on the Internet. You can also use this medium for socializing just like any other social media; however, it has its own class. 

Do We Really Have to Surrender to the Fish of Corruption?

“Baro barsara tapasya sukhua pudare gala”, this is a saying in the Oriya language which means “an effort of years gets spoilt because of a small mistake”.  I grew up listening to this proverb and grew up wondering how come a small mistake drains away a great effort. For a better insight, let's have a look at the below anecdote. 

Have you come across people who turn vegetarian only on auspicious days? I have a friend who follows the same practice. Once what happened is that he swallowed a piece of fish by mistake on such a day. He realized the mistake immediately. Biting his tongue, he hit his forehead with his right palm and said, “uiiiiiii….what a mistake I made!” As he was feeling guilty, to make him comfortable, I said, “No problem. You have not done it knowingly. Now keep it and take another plate of food.” What he said is something to think about. “Now that I have already eaten a piece, let me have it fully.”

This directs us to consider another situation. We may find some people who did not get indulged in corruption for a long time until the first time they did. Then they found it almost impossible to stop the noose of corruption from tightening. If someone who is known to have accepted bribe even once says that some practice is wrong, everyone will tell him “at least you don’t tell this.” This is enough to shut his mouth. The argument that can be given here is that if you have been involved in a wrong practice at some point of your life, this doesn’t take your rights away from you to raise your voice against the other wrong practices. It is never too late to make up for your mistakes.

These days on switching on a news channel, what you find is a story about Fight against Corruption. I was wondering whether these news-stories make it easy to watch for people, who ever became a victim of the system, who could not gather the courage to fight against the wrong-practices, hence surrendered to it. 

Therefore, NOW is the time when we need an example of someone whose conscience has arisen, someone who can come to the front and say, “I have received bribe at some point of my life. This was a wrong thing I did. I promise I will not accept it anymore.” They can comfortably fight hand-in-hand with the front runners for a good cause as it is evident that the common practice is to suppress the whistle-blowers by bringing their wrong-doings to the front. Afterwards, the number of people fighting against corruption will definitely increase manifold. Truly, we do not have to eat the full fish because we have tasted it either knowingly or unknowingly. After all, it’s not for the society but for our own conscience.

So the question that arises here is that whether we should not hate the corrupt. Why should we? The corrupt are like patients of the disease called Corruption which in turn is created by a virus called Bad System or Bad Morale. We would need to make the patients free from the disease and help them live in the society with respect, with dignity. One more thing - let's spread awareness about the virus and hope to get some vaccine ready.